You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
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I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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