the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
honey bunches of taint.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
