just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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