Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Randomize
