just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
