is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
