Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
