took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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