What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
