She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
pop tarts are not kleenex
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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