lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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