Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
