I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
