i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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