im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
