Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize