Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
