can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
