every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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