Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
