Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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