And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
