Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
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I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
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ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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