Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hereâ€™s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..