I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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