i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
