glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
