So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
