where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
