You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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