Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
