what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
