Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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