i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
