is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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