Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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