I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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