i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
