So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My cat gives me a boner
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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