So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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