I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
