i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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