you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
