Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize