Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Randomize
