His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
