girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
