I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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