Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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