Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
