i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
please don't ironically join a cult
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