the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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