The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
