this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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