That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
