..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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