Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
