dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We talked him into tasing himself.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
