Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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