everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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