just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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