My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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