Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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