She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
