My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
