Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
