She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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